I CAN USE EGGS HOWEVER I PLEASE (2018)

I need space
We all need space


concerning space
two options present themselves to me

public and private
usually these two are separated
by a distinction

the function of this rule of separation is to maintain a relationship to yourself
to protect what is intimate
to exclude what is harmful to intimacy

public space shelters and incorporates the private spaces of all individuals
so that being intimate beings in intimate space outside of it individuals can enter a field of diplomacy
in which territorial negotiations take place

negotiations in public often concern intimacy
or the impossibility of it

when intimate space is threatened by public space,
this private, exclusive relation,
sometimes,
we need to re-enforce the boundary,
we need to play by the rule
we need to re-draw the line

when intimate space is threatened by public space,
sometimes we need to re-negotiate the rule
and introduce to the public that threatens our intimacy
the thing that threatens to eradicate the possibility for us to feel safe in public space

public space must also be protected from intimacy
because if everybody shared one single intimate space
diplomacy would fall short
and public discourse would become chatter

conflict could not be negotiated
never must we abandon the distinction

for we have the right to intimacy
and the possibility for diplomacy
only for so long as we have a space that grants it to us

look, my cigarette is burning an egg shell

innocencse is a word i cannot spell
innoscence is a word reserved for con-men

experience teaches,
not even infants are innocent
language precludes innocence
and eggshells are meant to be broken

diplomacy
means to refrain from saying what one really believes to be true
in order to protect and negotiate territory

intimacy
is to say what one really believes to be true
regardless of all other spaces outside this particular intimacy

intimacy is not diplomacy
you are intimate with friends
diplomatic with strangers
you negotiate intimacy with both of them

gossip
is when intimacy is abused for political ends
gossip seeks to eradicate the boundary between public and private

the subject that gossips is wrong, is vulgar, is a liar
because

gossip wants to make up for a lack of intimacy in a subject’s life
gossip makes use of intimate language
when diplomacy would be required
gossip serves territorial fantasies
while abusing intimate language to achieve them

public ends through private means

gossip is also
vulgar entertainment
a game to pass time with
an exercise in scheming

gossip and innocense are for con-men
gossip is not diplomacy
diplomacy seeks to negotiate
gossip seeks to influence, manipulate, control

if the distinction between private and public is lost
i do not want to live in relation to others
for nobody is to be trusted
and my need for intimacy is disregarded
i feel strange to say that i have a personal need for diplomacy

poetry
re-negotiates the boundary between private and public
poetry does not want to abandon the rule of separation

it points to a perceived misplacement of the line between private and public
it seeks to draw the line elsewhere

gently uncompromising
carefully hurtful

it steps on a distinction

poetry is not diplomacy
for if poetry was to only ever shelter and never address what is intimate
it would not touch the listener
poetry is not intimacy
for if poetry was to only address private spaces
it would not be of interest for a public

poetry is not gossip
for if poetry was to vulgarize intimate experience for political ends
it could not be trusted

poetry balances on the line between diplomacy, gossip, and intimacy

think of an egg
on top of a wall
in which way can you trust the egg
when it says
i can use language however i please

poetry can balance
like no other form of speaking can

a friend is a private matter
a stranger is a public matter
if a friend betrays intimacy
they need to be called stranger
so that intimacy is protected again

public space must negotiate the possibility for intimacy without violating it

the smell of burning egg shell
is a threat to me these days

I want to fuck you
but you only love men
this is a private matter

i leave my trace in poetry
but a trace is but a trace is but a
do you understand?

consumer--
be careful
perceiver--
be careful
friend
be careful
stranger--

back off
with your cigarette
the author
like an egg shell
is a fragile thing